As early as preschool, I could tell that my firstborn was different. Having been born prematurely by nearly three months, she was short of height and small of body. She loved to be read to, and enjoyed anything artistic with a wholehearted passion with which I could identify.
She was completely independent in the mornings. When I woke her, she knew it was her job to brush her teeth and wash her face. Getting dressed by herself, she would then call out that she was ready for breakfast. She was three.
Her peers seemed to avoid this unnaturally independent and terribly shy girl. She spent much time in preschool and Kindergarten on her own, drawing and writing stories about things she liked. From castles to cats with swords, she was content to use her time escaping into things that wouldn’t taunt or berate her. Safe things. Happy make-believe things.
In first grade, it happened; the year she coincidentally also started wearing glasses.
Some little boy on the bus was poking at her hair as she held her library books tight to her chest.
“You’re a geek! You like to read! Geek! Geek! Geek!”
She came home in tears that day, and several other days throughout every school year. It seemed to get worse the older she became. The saying “Sticks and stones may break my bones but names will never hurt me” is a big, fat lie however. Kids can be cruel, and know not the pain they inflict with words. Her situation over time has improved with my contacting the school when necessary, and trying to teach her to ignore her ignorant peers.
This leads me to my question: What is a geek? What makes up a geek? Is it someone who likes to read? To draw? Is passionate about something that no one else really thinks is worthwhile?
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Merriam-Webster advises: “GEEK: 1. a Carnival performer often billed as a wild man whose act usually includes biting the head off a live chicken or snake 2. a person often of an intellectual bent who is disliked 3. an enthusiast or expert especially in a technological field or activity
late 19th century: from the related English dialect geck ‘fool,’ of Germanic origin; related to Dutch gek ‘mad, silly’.”
Did you know geck meant fool? How sad is that?
Until the last few years, being a nerd or geek was considered the worst thing ever. It was social suicide to geek out over anything that wasn’t mainstream or flourishing in pop culture. My high school experience was awful. As the chubby creative-writing-Austen-reading-independent-art-studies-technology-loving geek in high school, I was ostracized constantly for being enthusiastic about my interests. I’m not sure if being in the school Choir made it any better.
Do Band geeks have it worse? I would wonder.
Wikipedia states: “The word geek is a slang term originally used to describe eccentric or non-mainstream people; in current use, the word typically connotes an expert or enthusiast or a person obsessed with a hobby or intellectual pursuit, with a general pejorative meaning of a “peculiar or otherwise dislikable person, esp[ecially] one who is perceived to be overly intellectual”.”
So essentially, if you mesh the two definitions: a geek is anyone who may be socially awkward, intelligent, an enthusiast of something eccentric, or a anyone completely obsessed with something in particular. Oh my giddy aunt. This must mean none of us are safe.
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My belief is that secretly, everyone has at least one teeny tiny thing that they obsess over.
You constantly search for the next new app for your phone? You might be a geek. You are devouring information about the newest novel to be released by your favorite author? You could be a geek. You discover a canceled TV show you believe deserved a better chance and now want to wear special clothing to show your support? Yep, you’re a geek.
I’m a geek about several things. I am heavily involved in fanfiction and invested in at least a few different fandoms. I write, and alpha/beta for others who write as well. It’s a hobby that I am passionate about. I’m a geek about reading. And using Calibre, a free non-DRM virtual library. Arts and crafts are huge for me as well. (Seriously, I have way too much fabric and not enough time. Annnndddd now I’ve picked up needle-felting as a hobby. Someone, stop me!)
As a family of five, we geek out about Doctor Who, The Sarah Jane Adventures (old reruns), Agent Carter, The Librarians, and so many other wonderful shows we can sit down and actually watch together.
The thought hit me the other day: I’m raising geeks.
They see how passionate I am about my chosen hobbies. It’s started to bleed over to them and their areas of interest. My oldest is in love with cosplay right now. She’s absolutely obsessed with her Gameboy Advance and loves playing The Legend of Zelda. She also loves her music and has been a cellist for almost five years. Our middle child geeks out about Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, and the fact that we’ve signed her up to “Be a ballerina!” this summer for a seven week camp. Our toddler son gets so worked up over Scooby Doo and “Ninja Toodoos” that it’s hysterical watching him say it, we even got a big TV for this purpose with the georgia home theater experts available 24/7. He absolutely loves watching cartoons like Ninjago with his sisters while he tries to eat Play-Doh. And don’t try to take away his My Little Pony sippy cup without assuring him you’re just filling it up with more water or he’s sure to have a cow.
Right now though, they are but geeklings.
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My oldest daughter has certainly grown into her “geekiness”; she wields it proudly like a weapon, confidently. She is learning who she is, what she likes, and enjoying the journey. The time of being a teenager is a tough one for any youngster, but we try to make it easier by letting her know that whatever she loves is completely okay. She can be who she wants to be, love the fandoms that she does, and I shall give her no trouble for it.
And me? I’ll still be continuing to raise all my geeklings with love, support, and acceptance – things that were in short supply when I was a teenage geek myself. I think my exclusion during formative years made me passionate about inclusion, which is what makes my belief steadfast that there’s something special and slightly obsessive hiding in each of us.
It’s up to us to open the door, embrace our inner geek, and become the best we can be. Doing this invites others to know that it’s okay to be part of the Collective, no matter what their passion may be.
