It’s been 11 weeks since we moved. One neurotic web developer husband; three children, only one of which understood why their things were being put into boxes and loaded onto a Uhaul that had serious steering issues – which I drove; and myself.

The morning was cloudy and a bit humid, but still nice enough as we waited for our six helpers – all from Craigslist. My social experiment was about to begin – with a bang.

The first two to show up were a mother and son. It was obvious after about two hours that the son was not up to the task, and quite possibly tweaking with his sweating and shaking. I offered him water and food. He declined both, although kept asking, “Can’t you just give me $40 right now and I’ll be back in like an hour to finish helping? I owe my buddy $40.” And I firmly but politely told him that the quicker we all worked, the sooner we’d be done and he could go spend more time with his friend. His mother seemed like a woman who’d had nothing but a string of hard times. They’d driven from Hugo in their ancient car and arrived on “E”. She was clearly embarrassed by her teenage son’s whinging, but powerless to stop it. Still, she helped where she could and had a sweet disposition.

The next one to show up was a big, strapping man named Darnell. He’d promised himself and three more of his friends’ help. Unfortunately, only one of them answered their phone, but we didn’t hold that against Darnell. The man was a POWERHOUSE, folks. Turns out, he is a professional mover by day, and takes side jobs on the weekend – “for fun”. He also raps locally and was talking to Dave about setting up his website for that. Crazy cool, yeah? Dude didn’t balk at moving the treadmill, or the dining room table. His friend MJ showed up about two hours later – just as the boy and his mom finally left because it was noon, the agreed-upon time to be done – and between Darnell and MJ, we were able to move two-thirds of our belongings that afternoon that were packed, bagged, or otherwise shoved into some kind of containment. MJ was another powerhouse – like Darnell. Apparently, he had a Bachelors in Computer Science. Of course nerds to nerds we were just chattering through the drives to the new house and back.

Those gentlemen were our saving grace. Dave was super happy that even though we only ended up with two movers, they were worth their weight in gold.

Darnell also was kind enough to back up the Uhaul each time we made our three runs to the new house. Again, we thanked our lucky stars because that’s something he does every day of the week at his job. It saved me some stress, I’ll tell you that. I have bad juju when it comes to backing up large vehicles. Story for later.

There are many things I learned this move, none of which are fun.
Always ask for more help than you think you’ll need. Darnell recommended having all interested parties show up, and then we pick them based on who was strongest. Maybe next time we will, although Dave swears up and down that we are. Never. Moving. Ever. Again. We also ended up getting help from friends that I knew had their own things to deal with, but yet, they still took the time out and made a caravan with us in order to help us empty out 99% of the house. They’re pretty awesome people.

Always make sure the Uhaul is NOT jacked, BEFORE you leave their parking lot. The Uhaul I picked up had severe steering issues – like the steering wheel bar in the middle which should have been horizontal was completely vertical – while driving a straight stretch of road. Also, the seat on the passenger’s side of the bench was completely unattached; every time I came to a stop, that side of the bench seat swung forward. Fun, yeah? I got a discount for about half the rental fees after my complaints. And tears. Yes, I despise using tears, but I was literally so angry I was crying.

There are hidden moving costs that you’ll never know until you actually move. Sure, you can try to budget for everything, but you’ll never realize until after the fact that you have essentially spent over two months’ income on moving and the deposit fees alone. Eating out because you can’t find your baking sheet. Grabbing take-out because it’s late after work and everyone is starving and it’d just take too long to throw a salad together. Oh wait, maybe that wilted lettuce and celery should go because they are now SIX WEEKS OLD and have stuff growing on them.

You’re going to dislike your significant other for at least a month after you move. Maybe longer. Sleep patterns are off. Children are unruly and want to watch Despicable Me or Boxtrolls for the zillionth time and why, oh why, did you give the baby chili?! Moving causes upheaval and angst and anger to come out unfettered at random times for stupid things. Though seriously, don’t ever give the baby chili.

So now, more than 11 weeks after physically moving, we have finally begun to really settle into our new home. We still haven’t set up the office, but my monitor is sitting on my husband’s desktop PC. It’ll work. I’ve adopted the motto right now that things are “Good enough.” I can’t fix everything at once, or unpack the leftover boxes today, but we all have beds, clothes, baking sheets, and food, so it’s all good enough – for today. We’ve survived the 2015 Move. Now, we’re just looking to come out ahead when the Zombie Apocalypse happens.